Do not repeat this old story: Karen was a devout Catholic. She would never even entertain the idea of missing Mass. At one time she had considered becoming a nun. Her parents were upset when she decided to marry Dustin, a non-Catholic and self-professed agnostic. Karen insisted. They loved each other and she felt certain that after the wedding he would eventually embrace her faith. Already he had spent two Sundays attending Mass with her. She thought that this was a sign of a future baptism. They never talked about it. She merely assumed it. Her plan was flawed because it was one-sided. After the wedding, he made it clear that he had no intention of joining her church. She was shocked. He told her that he couldn’t believe that his attendance at two Masses misled her into thinking that he was interested in her religion. He thought that he had made it perfectly clear that he was a non-believer.

     Now married, he didn’t feel he had to go to church with her out of courtesy. Besides, golf was far more important to him. As the years proceeded, Dustin met a lovely single girl at the country club golf course and began playing rounds of golf with her each Sunday. At first it was in a group of others and then they began finding excuses to play together alone. Karen knew how to play golf too, but was unavailable to play on Sundays. Another woman filled her spot. A long-term affair ensued. Divorce followed.

     The following scenario works: Edmond and Larissa met on a blind date. Larissa talked about her church frequently during the course of the evening. She talked about her experiences being a missionary in a foreign country. At the end of the date Edmond expressed his feelings.

     “I can see that your religion means more to you than anything else in the world. So, before we date formally, I better first get to know about your church. If I like it and want it in my life, then we could date seriously. What do you think?”

     Larissa was impressed, “Wow! I can’t believe how insightful you are. You’re right about my religion. It does matter to me deeply. I like your plan. It’s the right way to go. Then neither of us will get hurt or have false expectations.”

     Larissa taught Edmond all about her church and he attended the Sunday meetings regularly for the next three months. During this time he fell in love with its principles, practices, philosophies, and way of life. He joined her church and then their courtship began. Twenty-seven years later they are still happily married.